Today I picked up a certified letter from the ex wife. It just seems that she is not even reading the letters that we send. We give her answers and explanations in our letters and she sends a letter back with almost the exact same wording that she put in the first letter. At this point I am so emotionally drained. How do I continue? I know that I am not even the one that is being pulled in two directions. How is he coping? Where do I find the strength to not explode on her. There are so many things I would like to say. How do you live with yourself knowing the pain that you are putting your son through? Do you really care or do you see Jeremy in him so it feels good to make him suffer? Where do you get off? Just who do you think you are anyway? Are just a few. But then as a mother I have to sit back and try to see this through her eyes. I get that she blames Jeremy for everything that has gone wrong in her life, but get over it already. Move on. I get that she wants to control his upbringing. She isn't now. She has no idea what he is doing on a daily basis. Well that is when she lets him out of the house. My main issue is how do I keep enough distance to still be his safe place? How come Jeremy is so laid back about it. He says that no matter what he and Kaid will always be close. Then when he turns 18 Kaid can choose who he wants in his life. I get that too, but I am worried about the damage that will be done from him trying to rebel against his mom. He was car surfing the other day and fell off, all of this right after he knocked a kid out in one punch. He is a teenager. So how far does it go in the directions of teenage years and how much is caused by his need to show his mom she doesn't control him. I guess what it comes down to is this. I love him. He is my son. He wants me to be a mama to him. That is what I do. I will be there for him when he calls me in the middle of the night to talk. I will always listen first guide second and show my love through it all. The ex will have to answer one day for what she has done, as will we. I know that we have done our best. I have no problem sitting at Gods knee and answering for loving Kaid. I look forward to it.

May God bless you and keep you safe.